Food for the soul, a mental health post.

For those of you only interested in my cooking adventures this post is not for you. I’m going to make a post about my mental health. I am not offended if you are not interested.

This last weekend I went to an SCA event. This in and of itself is not unusual. What was unusual is that it required me traveling alone to a region I had never been. For most people this is not remarkable, for me it is astounding. I am not an adventurer, at least not outside my kitchen. I love meeting new people, but I need to do so usually from a place of comfort and security. Something I have has precious little of in the past couple of years.

About 3 years ago my life shifted dramatically. I was betrayed at a visceral level and it had left deep wounds. Though those wounds are healing the scars are deep and red and angry still. I have been diagnosed with depression and ptsd, both I knew about going into therapy but now get to add anxiety and ocd to my list. These new two have made my life particularly hard but knowing they are there has made it easier to move on.

Anyway, I looked at the list of attendees and fretted, while there were many names I recognized as people I know, I did not know how people would treat me. I had been to event where people I had known quite well completely ignored me. This set up my anxiety to tell me to expect the same from those who knew me less well. I was comforted that 2 people who are family were making the trek from the US to be there. If all hell broke loose I knew they could help keep me together.
My ocd was piqued, I was cooking completely out of my element. A situation compounded by the fact that I was not allowed to actually cook the food, because I lacked a Bulgarian health certificate, and my translator did not receive her passport in time to come to the event. Side note, only 1 of the kitchen staff spoke any English.
My anxiety eased some when I arrived Wednesday night and was immediately welcomed in and made to feel wanted and not just a tag along to an already established group. As I met and greeted old friends I hadn’t seen in years, my anxiety began to rest and I settled into a comfortable place. Each new person I greeted made me feel more at home.
Cooking of course set off new anxieties. Those I mostly know how to handle and with a security blanket of friends and family I had the resources to tackle the challenges it provided. I had one moment where I could have broke down, one moment I could have lost it and in that moment I was rescued with kind words and a hug from a friend, and in that moment I knew what a true treasure I had in her. With that simple gesture I was able to take a deep breath and carry on.
The weekend turned out to be full of hugs and encouraging words. All the things my tired soul needed to be rejuvenated and encourage me to carry on. It was on my way to a friend’s house after my return flight home that I came to an astounding and humbling idea. There are those in our kingdom that are well traveled and well loved. I have seen them and am grateful to know some of them. I always envied them and their circle of friends. Their ability to go anywhere and have support and friendship waiting for them. I discovered, I am one of those people. It is a stunning revelation and it humbles me. I am grateful to all the people who look forward to seeing when my name is on a reservation list, no matter how long it’s been.  Your support truly means the world to me.

Lost in translation

Or in other words, surviving cooking when no one speaks the same language..

I knew going in that there was going to be a language barrier but we had a plan. I would have a translator on hand to help. Someone who both spoke the language and understood medieval cooking. Little did we know this plan would be thwarted. My translator didn’t receive her passport in time and we needed a plan b. So, we winged it!

Olga was a huge help. Her English was good, especially in comparison to my Bulgarian. She was with me Friday morning through lunch and got me through. Supper was being cared for by others. When done for the day I mentioned grabbing a couple of people and doing some prep. I thought we had sorted it, so when I arrived at the kitchen to start and set off the alarm on the refrigerator I was a bit surprised. Yet again, plan b. Wing it and trust.

Saturday morning I got up early, way too early! There is a reason I don’t do breakfasts. I got to the kitchen to start. I was working with Valara and Maria. Two super sweet women who spoke no English, or German for that matter, but with hands and pointing we did amazing things. Lunch came out great! 

Then, shift change happened, and in came the “senior” cooks. Gone was the laughter and smiles. These women were serious and stern, they meant business. If I didn’t understand she just said it louder and slower. Thankfully in the office across from the kitchen was Albana. She was a huge help but I could still tell I was frustrating these poor ladies. I had tried to indicate one of the dishes needed more seasoning and when I took it in hand to demonstrate one of them visibly restrained herself from slapping my hand. Another strain was being questioned on the use of cinnamon on meat and being told no. She told me no. I tried to explain it was essential to the flavor. In the end she put cinnamon on but must have thought I was daft.

All in all things went well. There were a few oddities and surprises as I sat in the hall having the feast served to me. I ould hear the reactions around me and it was quite nice to see and hear immediate feedback.

All in all I would do it again. 

Food brings us together

A legend in the mundane culinarry world has passed on. The lesson he left behind, food binds us. It binds us in all we do, we all have to eat. It can be an ice breaker, it can be the cement for a long lasting relationship and it can open doors for cultural exchange.

In the SCA we engage in many ways, textiles, stories, fighting, but we all need to eat. In our hobby exploring and honouring cultural ideas and identities that are foreign to us not only in geography but in time, is not only cool but encouraged, discussed and enjoyed. In the end we all need to eat. I can only hope that the food I make in a small way helps facilitate this sort of openness and exchange.

A silver anniversary

June marks 25 years that Drachenwald has been a Kingdom, it also marks my being in the SCA for 25 years, and to celebrate both of these things I will be cooking. It may seem odd to most people to be excited to celebrate by cooking for 120 people but I'm not the average person.

So, the logical question now is what am I cooking? Let me answer that for you.

I have prepared the menu for Friday lunch, Saturday lunch and Saturday's celebratory feast.  While the lunch menus are comprised of tried and true recipes, the feast will bring all new flavors to the tables.

Now the menu:

Ravioli
May eggs
Hodgepodge

Moorish eggplant
Armored capon
Rice casserole

Pork in lemon sauce
Soup of peas

Pickled game
Preserved beets

Fritters of spinach
Quail

Candied lamb
Crowned triangles


Desserts will be on a sideboard.
Tart of strawberries
Tart of plums
Oranges
Custard fritter
Fried figs
Crostata of peaches

The recipes are all from the 16th century and represent 7 of the countries of Drachenwald.

Germany, England, France, Spain, Denmark, Italy and the Ottoman empire.

While I redacted most of the recipes myself, I sought outside help for 3 of them.

The candied lamb and crowned triangles come from Urtatim al-Qurtubiyya bint abd'  al-Karim al-Fass of the Principality of the Mists in the Kingdom of the West.

The pork in lemon sauce comes from Drachenwald's own Master Giano Balestriere.

I chose each of these people based on recommendations and experiences with them. I understand my own allergies tint how I look at recipes as well as what I choose to cook and redact. In most cases this is not a problem but in such a case as the feast where I wanted a wide variety of dishes I turned to those with the experience to provide what I could not.

Sauce modified

Working with what I have I have redacted once again, A White Ginger Sauce for Capons.

Please see the following:
125 g fresh spinach
20 g peeled, finely grated, ginger
1Tbsp red wine
1 Tbsp white wine vinegar
1 Tbsp sugar
1 1/2 Tbsp dry rubbed sage

At the moment I did not have fresh sage available to me. I intend to do this again when I do.

Method; I used my stab mixer to puree everything to a fine mush / liquid. I added the dry sage half of a tablespoon at a time, letting it set a few hours between each addition. The mixture has now Sat two days and tastes very good. It is however changing color to a dark green/ black instead of the vibrant green it initially was. The taste is good though.

Meant to be served " raw " this sauce is uncooked and also served cold. With capon or other fowl.

Another how did I miss that!

So as I make my way through coronation planning I am reviewing recipes. I wish to redo something I did at KWDS which is simple roasted sliced meats for lunch. This time I would like to add some sauces on the side. As I'm reviewing a sauce recipe I re read the original recipe and find I completely missed an ingredient. I completely missed it! Now to redo the recipe.

More life but some light

For those that don't know me personally my life had a severe down swing.

While things are still not great they are getting better.

French cooking is just as boring to me as English, lol! Trudging through a 16th century (translated)text. Ugh! Finally have hit on a dish that looks remotely interesting about 2/3 of the way through the text.