Transition- a ramble on this past weekend

I move on now from what was to what will be. I have done this many times in various aspects in my life, I will find my way forward with hope, love and the support of others. I am not alone.

This weekend was so much more magical that I ever could have hoped. Everything from the invocation on Friday night and being given the time and space to watch the invocation delivered for my dear Anna to the very last of the event and saying good bye on Sunday morning was pure and absolute magic!

I was asked on Saturday 'Did you get what you needed from your vigil?' and the answer is resoundingly yes. From the magic of transformation to all the words delivered. It filled me with confidence, understanding, and most of all love. I carried it all with me during the day. Some things kept repeating as they began to really sink in and others flitted about my thoughts like butterflies, bringing me inspiration and bits of beauty. I found myself as Friday wore on and Saturday dawned relaxing more and more. Saturday came and it continued. My mind eased, my body relaxed, I opened up like a sponge and just soaked in everything I could. 

The fighting was amazing, you could see the joy in the fighters as they made their way through the tourney and this joy spread. The boasts were amazing! and fun and brought such fun to what can otherwise feel like a perfunctory act of introducing yourself to the crown and the populace assembled. 

Conversations, meeting friends for the first time in person, sharing joy and grief but focusing on the joy, words: soooooo many words!, laughter, and love.

It's not just me. As some (ok many) of you know, my utterly amazing and fantastic friend (#PartnerInCrime) was also elevated to the order of the Pelican. She was beautiful!! (as usual) and it was such a joy to watch. To hear her affirmed, to be able to share this joy and journey. From top to bottom her ceremony was masterfully carried out and a joy to behold. She radiated light and joy. I am proud of you! I love you! I look forward to more work in the future with you.

I thank everyone for their kind words and kind gifts. I was overwhelmed to say the least. I was given a great deal many things, I may detail them all in a later post, for now though I will focus on the 6 medallions I was given. Each unique and special. I am still in awe of them! In no particular order:

From my own laurel, a gorgeous commissioned piece from Drachenstein jewelers . It is enameled with a garnet and a pearl. I could not have asked in a million years for something so perfect to go with my gown.

From Oriane, worked by her own hand a cloisonné medallion with my badge on one side and a green laurel surrounded in a magnificent blue on the other. I am honored to have a piece of her work.

From Victoria, a stunning gold laurel with an emerald and  a pearl drop. Again in the style very fit to my period and just. Wow!

From Bridget, pearls and garnet hang a simple and beautiful silver laurel and at the other end at the closure is another.

From Ellisa, a simple and lovely silver laurel. Something I will be unafraid of having in the kitchen as I work. 

From Duncan and Lisset, it was said when this was seen the reaction was a 'She must have this' a brass medallion with brass laurel and a enameled background of the pride flag! 

Self made is the last one. I had made 'coins' in the workshop of Estrid and one just stood out as needing a 'hole' to be able to be put on a string. At first I thought as a token that someone could hand on a belt and as I looked at it more I realized I had created a medallion.

Now that I have shared the Good, there is something on the flip side I would like to share especially after my last post. 

I realized at some point I had let the weasels win. Those bad voices that foster doubt and bad thoughts. I had many people offer help at various times and I  turned most of it down. I felt compelled to do the bulk of the work on my own, because the weasels had won and I didn't realize it. I felt it was my job to be the one to do the things to lift a burden off of my Laurel who was at such a distance and dealing with some real life things (that are still looming). The honest truth was that I didn't believe there was anyone out there who would have wanted to do this for me ( other than the aforementioned laurel) and so I took it on myself. While I recognize these things now and can only try to do better in the future, I am sorry.