Regalia

 That is what we call the accoutrements that we wear to identify rank and station. Be it a simple circlet or a fancy coronet (crown), medallions or collars, capes, cloaks and other outer garments, they stand out to make the wearer identifiable. Upon elevation to a peerage order one is often gifted with these symbols that reflect their new status. Sometimes it is a heritage item, passed from one to another down a line or within a group. Other times new things are commissioned or bought for the recipient. In my case there were no heritage items as our line is small but growing. I was given many gifts and to say it was humbling is an understatement. It has taken me near a week to wrap my head around the generosity and love that was shown and showered upon me. 

While I have made a Facebook post naming those that gifted me items I wanted to show them off here as well. Facebook posts get lost and while the memories come it is but once a year.

In my last post I showed my medallions and spoke of those who gifted them but they are beautiful enough that I will do it again!

Medallions:

Judith of NorthUmbria

Bridget Greywolf

Ellisa von Berenklaw

Victoria Piera Rosselli

Oriane d'Avallon

Duncan Kerr and Lissette de la Rose

The partlet (instead of a cloak) Aleydis van Vilvoorde and Lady Alfhildde Foxley

Wreaths: Bridget Greywolf (the green and the large gold ones). Ellisa von Berenklaw

Every one of these pieces will be near and dear to me forever. I will continue to be stunned, humbled and proud of wearing each piece.

Transition- a ramble on this past weekend

I move on now from what was to what will be. I have done this many times in various aspects in my life, I will find my way forward with hope, love and the support of others. I am not alone.

This weekend was so much more magical that I ever could have hoped. Everything from the invocation on Friday night and being given the time and space to watch the invocation delivered for my dear Anna to the very last of the event and saying good bye on Sunday morning was pure and absolute magic!

I was asked on Saturday 'Did you get what you needed from your vigil?' and the answer is resoundingly yes. From the magic of transformation to all the words delivered. It filled me with confidence, understanding, and most of all love. I carried it all with me during the day. Some things kept repeating as they began to really sink in and others flitted about my thoughts like butterflies, bringing me inspiration and bits of beauty. I found myself as Friday wore on and Saturday dawned relaxing more and more. Saturday came and it continued. My mind eased, my body relaxed, I opened up like a sponge and just soaked in everything I could. 

The fighting was amazing, you could see the joy in the fighters as they made their way through the tourney and this joy spread. The boasts were amazing! and fun and brought such fun to what can otherwise feel like a perfunctory act of introducing yourself to the crown and the populace assembled. 

Conversations, meeting friends for the first time in person, sharing joy and grief but focusing on the joy, words: soooooo many words!, laughter, and love.

It's not just me. As some (ok many) of you know, my utterly amazing and fantastic friend (#PartnerInCrime) was also elevated to the order of the Pelican. She was beautiful!! (as usual) and it was such a joy to watch. To hear her affirmed, to be able to share this joy and journey. From top to bottom her ceremony was masterfully carried out and a joy to behold. She radiated light and joy. I am proud of you! I love you! I look forward to more work in the future with you.

I thank everyone for their kind words and kind gifts. I was overwhelmed to say the least. I was given a great deal many things, I may detail them all in a later post, for now though I will focus on the 6 medallions I was given. Each unique and special. I am still in awe of them! In no particular order:

From my own laurel, a gorgeous commissioned piece from Drachenstein jewelers . It is enameled with a garnet and a pearl. I could not have asked in a million years for something so perfect to go with my gown.

From Oriane, worked by her own hand a cloisonné medallion with my badge on one side and a green laurel surrounded in a magnificent blue on the other. I am honored to have a piece of her work.

From Victoria, a stunning gold laurel with an emerald and  a pearl drop. Again in the style very fit to my period and just. Wow!

From Bridget, pearls and garnet hang a simple and beautiful silver laurel and at the other end at the closure is another.

From Ellisa, a simple and lovely silver laurel. Something I will be unafraid of having in the kitchen as I work. 

From Duncan and Lisset, it was said when this was seen the reaction was a 'She must have this' a brass medallion with brass laurel and a enameled background of the pride flag! 

Self made is the last one. I had made 'coins' in the workshop of Estrid and one just stood out as needing a 'hole' to be able to be put on a string. At first I thought as a token that someone could hand on a belt and as I looked at it more I realized I had created a medallion.

Now that I have shared the Good, there is something on the flip side I would like to share especially after my last post. 

I realized at some point I had let the weasels win. Those bad voices that foster doubt and bad thoughts. I had many people offer help at various times and I  turned most of it down. I felt compelled to do the bulk of the work on my own, because the weasels had won and I didn't realize it. I felt it was my job to be the one to do the things to lift a burden off of my Laurel who was at such a distance and dealing with some real life things (that are still looming). The honest truth was that I didn't believe there was anyone out there who would have wanted to do this for me ( other than the aforementioned laurel) and so I took it on myself. While I recognize these things now and can only try to do better in the future, I am sorry. 

I have been Hijacked!!

 This will be a post on my elevation, move along if you are not interested.

Someone noted a bit ago that all I can seem to talk about is Crown and the subsequent elevations happening there, including my own. I came to the conclusion that having a writ hijacks your brain at some point, especially if you are trying to do something special, such as my many projects I have had cooking. You want everything to be just right, and then you start running out of time, then you start doubting, then you want to burn everything to the ground, then you see light, then the setback (or several) and then and then and then. In order to keep on track you stay focused. Baby steps, one baby step at a time but progress is made. You are proud of every accomplishment no matter how small it seems to be.

People ask how you are. This becomes a loaded question. If I say stressed I'm asked why, and if I tell them, then we are on the one note subject of what I am doing and how I am on my projects. If I say 'I'm OK' then someone at some time in a group will ask how a project is going. Depending on my stability at the moment I can pass of with a 'I'm on track' Or 'Going alright I guess' but if I am stressed then I will burst and there will be lists and details an more info than anyone likely ever wanted.

Having writ makes your elevation more like a wedding and less like a graduation. I had never really thought of myself as a control freak but I am having serious thoughts about reevaluating that thought. I am not sure I want to make it perfect for me or for my 'audience' I want something I will remember, something magical. I do realize that even as a surprise it would have been magical and something to remember. I take deep breaths and realize I am doing the best I can with the skills I have. People have offered help but it has been very hard to take that help. Many things I want are things I feel I should be doing myself. My gown and chemise, tokens, other gifts and such. I decided to work on my own ceremony too though I have passed the last bits of that off to my Laurel. Even now I have had offers of help but there is nothing anyone can do for me unless they can come finish one of my projects left ( At this time hooks and eyes for my sleeves, closure of the waist of the gown, gathering and finishing my camicia and some garb for my daughter. I would love garb for my son too but don't have the materials or resources to get them at this time, he does Roman so the shapes are super simple) 

I am at a point where I want this done and in the past. I want my life back. I want to talk about future projects beyond Crown and the elevation ( and I have several) but I just need to get through this first. 12 days to go, I can do it!

If you have stuck with me so far... My apprentice sister did a fantastic thing and created an on line vigil page: 

https://padlet.com/2903petra/9flydjo2bcp7xgp1?fbclid=IwAR1WrezPjqkaXZ7Q_eJ6GiDrlNPnbECFjnXKYk_CHBFixULcSM1oew6sbNU

For those that can't come to the event. It is 'live' and ready to go. I am not sure when the best timing for making the link more public is? Hmmmm... I will keep thinking on it.

Things are not bad, I am not actually complaining but I am processing and part of that is just getting the thoughts, for better or worse, out of my head.