How we got here

 Feel free to pass this post by, It is just a meandering thought I wanted to get out.

In my Facebook memories was a memory from 12 years ago. 'Super Barony' , it was a silly name for something that I was passionate about and had been for several years. When I moved to the lands called Rauchenderberg, at this point 20+ years ago, there were 2 Baronies in Germany. Knights Crossing, the most ancient of lands in the kingdom and Drei Eichen, a totally German barony that had a few expats but had been grown and maintained by the German population there. 

As soon as I hit these shores there was already murmuring of a Danube barony. One that would unite Southern Germany and Austria. A cool idea from my perspective. Of course this idea had pitfalls one of them being it crossed an international border and the SCA inc frowned on that, but still a group of us held out that someday, we could have another Barony in Germany. Sadly, this was not meant to be, but what happened instead is just as much of a good thing and in hindsight, an even better thing.

You see, as time went on the SCA population dwindled, especially in Southern Germany where a large portion of the players had been US military members and their dependent's who are only here for 3-5 years at best. Slowly groups dwindled and then blew away like dust. This was not a unique thing though to the South, Dre Eichen a formidable barony dwindled in numbers as well reducing them from a Barony to a shire, and at one point practically non existent. At this same time the numbers in Knights Crossing were dwindling as well. Our southern most Shire, Isengau also fell prey to the changing times. People moved, had kids, just stopped, and many other cases of 'life' happened that kept people from the SCA. 

I am not quite sure how the conversation started, but I know several of the players involved. Ele, Haldan, Gottfried and myself got the ball rolling. Others were of great support as well, Bridget, Marcus, Judith and Gerhardt were a few. No matter, the idea had been struck, maybe we should become a canton of KC (Knights Crossing) and if we did, maybe others would too. There was talk of what the pro's and con's could be. There was lots of talk! We held a meeting in my dining room (I've got the salt!!) and talked among the members of Turmstadt. We hashed out many things but came to the conclusion, we are better and stronger together. I then spent weeks talking to members of other shire's, I think we all did. Planting seeds, growing the idea of an all Germany barony. Baby steps.

We decided to go forward and there was a polling held for who the new Head(s) of the Barony would be. As it stood 4 couples put in letters of intent and of those four it was me and my husband(at the time) that were chosen. It was announced at the Spring Crown Tournament and in April that year and would be July before the investiture happened. In that time we prepared and talked some more and on the day we took the Baronial seats, we accepted 7 cantons to the Barony. It was new territory for all of us. I had never been a Baroness and they had never been cantons. We did all we could to make the transition smooth, to keep the promise that you didn't have to surrender your local identity to be part of something larger, and I like to think we succeeded. 

Those first two years were rough and had frustrations but there was also oh so much joy. Ten years on and I have watched with joy and pride to see us grow. Meadowmarsh joining under our successors and after them Isengau (unfortunately, their lands became ours by default as there were no active members there), bringing the baronial lands to include all of Germany. 

A year and 2 days

 It has been 1 year and 2 days since my elevation. 

What have I discovered? 

I have been discovering what sort of peer I want to be, and what I don't want to be. 

I will likely be hands on (when I can). I like to DO things. I like to learn things.

I will serve but I will also cook! I was told now is the time for me to step back and let others come forward. While that sounds ideal, we do not seem to have the cooking population locally to support that entirely, Also... I like cooking! I enjoy it! I do it because I love it, not because I have to. I have a couple of things brewing (big and small)  and look forward to each of them!

I have more to offer than I first thought I did. While my primary art is cooking. I also research, I also motivate, I inspire and I spark curiosity in people. Even when their art is not my own. 

I will speak up
I will speak honestly
I will speak truth
I will be gentle
I will be kind
I will learn
I will grow
I will do better and be better

A new path

 This folks is my contract with Ava van Allecmere ( her blog is Here ) Though we did not get to sign it this weekend due to my being ill. We will get it signed! But we would also like to announce the confirmation of this relationship and the new journey we will embark on!

I would also like to mention that at Crown, though we did not do anything fancy, I was taken in as protégé' to Caitriona of the Ravens! and that journey begins as well. 

I am looking forward to these adventures and seeing what we all get up to while growing this society together.

How to take a realistic look at the work I am doing (or have done)

 After an event it is easy, especially as the time slips by, find yourself either focused on what went right or too often focusing on what went wrong. Like any artist we look at our work with a critical eye and see the 'mistakes' that no one else even knew were there.

I believe I have mentioned it on my blog elsewhere that my Magistra and I engaged in what we called a 'post mortem'. A dissection of the my performance at the event in question. We created a form for me to think about and answer the questions of. We communicated on any issues, praise or comments that came in. I have posted a couple of these to my blog in the past as sort of an accountability for myself and a way to track progress.

Now you might be thinking, But Maggie, 'I'm not a cook. How does this apply to me?'. The answers are simple. You can apply these questions to not just the workings of the kitchen but most aspects of running an event as well. 'But Maggie, I didn't run an event.' That is fine, did you enter a competition, a display, do something out of your comfort zone? With a little tweaking the 'form' can fit a multitude of situations. Adopt what works, throw out what doesn't add as necessary. 

Do I need a peer to use this form with. Short answer is, no. This can be used for simple self reflection. I have continued to use it for myself since my elevation for the purpose of self reflection. I will use it with my students and apprentice(s) as a guidance tool and If there is anyone out there that would like to go through the process I am glad to help out as a peer or as a friend.

5 'simple' questions:

Post Mortem

1.) What went well? What will you do the same next time? Consider logistics, staffing, purchasing, pre-shopping, etc.

2.) What were the major crises that arose? How did you handle them? How would you handle them differently next time? Consider logistics, staffing, purchasing, pre-shopping, etc.

3.) Of the aspects that went wrong, which were the result of planning issues, which were the result of site issues, and which were the result of staffing issues? (i.e. what leads to the "failure")?

4.) In terms of the dishes themselves, how satisfied were you with their result? What would you do differently for them?

5.) Did the food meet your goals? If not all of them, which ones were achieved, and which were not?

6) Other Notes

I can't teach

 This is a phrase that I think many of us have said to or about ourselves and I think I have had an epiphany about it, much in the same way I had one about 'I can't art'.

First what is teaching? What is the first thing that pops into your head? School? Classroom? Lectures? PowerPoint presentations? 

What about, mentoring? Long talks? Geeking out? Sharing a link? An article? or a Technique? A recipe? A book? Resources? Do you think of any of that.

What is teaching is as wide of a subject as subjects there are to teach and teachers to teach them.

I can't teach to me was... I am nervous in big groups when the focus is all on me for a prolonged period of time. It's I can't teach someone how to do things my way because I just do it! 

What *I* CAN do is... teach someone how they can do it. Help them discover what their way of cooking, organizing, research, redaction, and all that goes with it is. Help draw out what works for them while sharing the things that may or may not have worked for me. I can direct someone to better resources. I can be an ear for their theories and suppositions and help them work out the logic. I can teach, just not in the way that others may see as 'teaching'.

Teaching is not black and white. It is not replication of what another does. Teaching is a form of sharing and we as teachers need to modify to how a student learns as well as to what our own style of teaching is.

The Neapolital Recipe Collection; pg 177

 

This recipe has been called many thing by those that have eaten it. Risotto, Delicious, Wonderful, and often called 'Mine' as they clutch the bowl and want to run away with it. Needless to say it has been a successful dish to make and serve.

Rice in the Italian style

Put fat and lean broth into a pot and boil it; then get cleaned rice that has been washed several times in warm water, put it in and boil it, giving it a couple of turns with a spoon so that it does not stick to the pot; then, when it is cooked, get eggs and grated cheese, and beat everything together, along with a little pepper; set it out in bowls.

Rice dish: feeds 4-6

1 c Rice ( I prefer short grained)

4 cups Water

3 tsp Beef bouillon

1 tsp Chicken bouillon

2 Tbsp butter

3-4 ounces Cheese, grated (Cheddar is salty, Gouda is creamy) I used provolone and cheddar

1 Egg, beaten

½ tsp Black pepper, fresh ground

Wash the rice

Bring the broth and butter to a boil

Add the rice

Boil about 25 minutes, until tender

Beat the egg

Quickly stir in the egg for 1 min 

Then stir in the cheese and pepper

Serve

Processing CW: mental health!

 I am going to talk honestly here about my own mental health and feelings. 

Edit: I contemplated not posting this, But mental health is important

I am taking a moment to process some things in my life. I have come to a disturbing conclusion that I am not as young as I used to be, lol! How did that happen? Doing a 12+ hour day in a kitchen is just not possible for me anymore and it feels, wrong. I feel like this inability is letting people down and to a large degree letting myself down. I have always held myself to a higher standard and expectation than those around me. I would tell anyone else NOT to do it. Not even to try to do a full weekend (I know it is crazy to do it) but expect of myself that I can and should.

I live with several mental health diagnosis. They all suck and it boils down to an alphabet soup that I have just been learning to cope with. I choose not to seek medication unless absolutely necessary. That is a choice I make. I have been in therapy and learned many tools to deal with a good chunk of it. Once in a while though I find myself in a situation where the tools don't work, or where I am unaware that I need to be using certain tools. When this happens things can and will go... Sideways. I had an anxiety attack and upon evaluating the why I thought I knew. Then I was talking to someone else and the why became clear. Once the 'ping' went off in my brain I could see clearly and while this will definitely serve me for next time it does nothing to alleviate the feeling of 'broken' at the time. It is hard for me not to think of myself as broken and therefore, less, than those around me. I know we all have our individual struggles and I would never think of anyone else as less for them but somehow I am unable to apply that to me. I struggle with applying that same kindness, compassion and grace to myself. 

I struggle with imposter syndrome, with feelings like I am a burden to those around me, Feeling like a failure in many aspects of my life, I have time where I feel invisible and or overlooked because somehow, I am less. Less important, less noticeable, less worthy. If I go quiet, it is because I have fallen into one of these holes. Just give me time and I will get out, reaching out does not always help. At times it does, in other circumstances it will sink me further. If I am reaching out, grab me, as that is when I am usually in the deep end. If you can not grab me, be kind and possibly find someone who can. 

To those in my life that have rescued me, Thank you! I try to say it often but may miss it here and there.

Playing catch up

 OK, so it has been quiet, here at least. With events on an ever changing basis there hasn't been a lot to report on. I continue to read cookbooks and plan feasts. Currently I just finished the menu for Arts in April V to be held in April here in Germany. I will publish the menu once it is 100% final. I am still looking for a sweet for after dinner in case the current plan doesn't work out.

Breakfast planning is hard y'all. Usually it is simple but really, trying to look for something creative and a bit bulkier than what is standardly served here is proving to be odd, but I will get there! I have a pottage recipe with barley that I really like and quiche seems a great option as well. I will keep searching.

Coronation looms and it seems my plan to have someone take over Lunch or Feast is meeting with failure. It is not that I don't want to, or can't do it all but I was looking for an opportunity to showcase someone else's talents in the region. Guess we will wait and see what comes.

My negotiations go well with the person that will be my first apprentice. I look forward to 'sealing the deal'. It is definitely being met with joy and humor on all parts.